Some of the art I have been taping into sort trays at work. I’m trying to spread more love and positivity, since there has been so much ugliness at my warehouse.
Yesterday, I stood up for myself in a way that I have dreamt of doing for years! I don’t consider this a “bullying” situation that I was in, but it is an example of how little we take stranger’s feelings into consideration, especially when we can’t look them in the eye. I am guilty of it as well (it would be naive to suggest I was sensitive enough to have never left a mean comment or flipped someone off), but I am trying to work past that and be a more positive individual.
So, yesterday, I was on my way to work, and I was running late (as usual) and happened to be driving fairly quickly. There was a very large blue truck in front of me who was also driving pretty fast, so I appreciated his speed. When we got close to the Shepherdsville exit where I work he got over in the middle lane. I am not a gradual lane shifter, though I always use my turn signal and look extensively (as I do jerk across several lanes at a time I always make certain it’s clear); as we neared exit 116, I signalled, sped up, and got over 2 lanes to the far right, and lost control of my momentum enough that I got over into the farthest right lane that was ending. Oops, my bad, but there was no one else around except for blue truck who decided to start over into the right lane just as I was trying to straighten out. He didn’t signal, but I guess he felt he didn’t need to in such a large vehicle, but noticed me and hit the gas. I slammed on my brakes, like I said no other cars were near, and let him get over in front of me. My bad I should slow down. Then, just as he passed and sped down the expressway, he held his hand up in a clear gesture of “the bird”. I hate that. I hate the cowardly expression of hiding in your car but still being so offensively rude. It’s rarely called for, and in such situations that it is, you might as well get out and throw a fist. I don’t even know why he was apparently so upset, since his huge truck would have crushed my Altima into a million tiny pieces, and if he wasn’t mad, then why flip me off?? I digress.
Big blue truck headed straight down exit 116, and I followed, since I was going the same way. Hurt, I stayed close behind him. He had his windows down and I could see his face in his side view mirror. I stayed right behind him down the road and soon realized, almost too late since he doesn’t seem to use turn signals ever, that he was turning into the warehouse where I work. I followed him into the parking lot and when he parked, I took to the empty space beside his. I got out of my car, walked around and stood beside his driver’s side door. He seemed very interested in something in his lap. I don’t know if he was trying to ignore the situation or what but finally he looked up and saw me, and rolled down his window. I don’t know what he expected, and really I don’t care, but I am sure he expected some kind of insult from me. He looked almost like he wanted me to say something shitty, but I didn’t, I looked him in his dumb face and said..
"I’m sorry if I scared you when I was driving, but could you please not flip me off?"
He didn’t even want to look at me, and just said “Yeah, sure”, he has no idea how badly that would have eaten at me if I hadn’t said something, and how badly it has eaten at me in the past when I have been flipped off. I didn’t even really reply, I walked away, got into my car, slammed the door and drove to the rear parking lot that I usually park in. After that I was so shaken I couldn’t physically keep my hands steady, I was so scared that he was going to be mean, or yell, or retaliate that my nerves hit me when I got in the car and it took me a while to calm them down. I had to call my husband and he told me I had done the right thing, which was a huge comfort. I was content with only telling my better half about it, until I got in and realized he works in my department’s sister department (where I have been helping out this week)! I was so scared that I went to my leads and told them the situation. Rather than berate me, or tell me it was wrong or bad, they seemed impressed, and told me it was good that I had stood up for myself. They wanted to know who it was and were very kind and supportive.
Even the department’s level 1 manager came and gave me congrats over standing up for myself! She gave me a high five and said I should have hit him, and then we made some small dick jokes! Hah!
All of the support and positive remarks I got over being brave and standing up for myself were so unexpected, and pleasant, I always worry that I might actually be wrong when I stand up for myself, but lately I have been doing it more and more, and it feels good, and it helps me to be stronger!
After my run in with the middle finger I started thing about how situations like that effect others, and I began to think about the YouTube fashion and make up vlogger grav3yardgirl (aka Bunny Meyer), and her strong support of anti-bullying campaigns, she even has a video about standing up for yourself. In it she states even if others around you don’t think it’s a big deal, if it hurts you or makes you uncomfortable in anyway, you should speak up, and stand up for yourself! I think about that video a lot, and how many times in the past I didn’t speak up, and how terrible I felt after. Thanks to Bunny’s positive messages, and my husband’s unfaltering support and love, I do feel stronger, and I do feel more confident. I know what I did wasn’t great, or impressive to everyone, but for me it was a very big step in the right direction.
Finally got my septum up to a 10ga!! Huge thanks to Amy at Twisted Images for putting the hole in my nose some 3 years ago now..
Look at that golden god!!! Robert Plant at Forecastle! Seriously an amazing concert and I am so happy I got to experience one of my favorite singers of all time!
Just a work doodle on the bottom of a tote!! So, the white work totes we use in my department sometimes get packing tape in the bottom of them. When you peel the tape off the cardboard bottom it leaves like residue, or a stain. I’m not sure what but it’s discolored by the tape. Sometimes I see potential in what’s left. I found this shape in the bottom of a tote and immediately saw a bug. I took advantage of some down time and traced it into what I imagined it looked like. I am pretty happy with the result!
These are the shorts I wore to work tonight, I have had them for a pretty long time, 8 years easy. They are American Eagle, and I found them on the side of the store where men usually shop. They were so delightfully ugly I needed them in my life.
A girl in my department looked at my shorts tonight and asked “Are those men’s shorts?” Absently, I replied that yes they were. After my admission, she smiled one of those smiles that makes your nose wrinkle, one of those smiles that suggests good humor toward something completely absurd, and she laughed at me like I was the dumb one for wearing clothes that some would assume are gender specific. I walked away.
It was a few minutes later before I thought I should have replies with something snarky, like “No, they’re my pants.” Thus is the life of a socially awkward (apparently absurdly dressed) gender neutral individual such as myself.
Evan and I went to the Frazier History Museum this afternoon, for the Mythical Creatures exhibit, it was so amazing and we had so much fun! The unicorn was OBVIOUSLY my favorite.
More pictures from the wedding ceremony, I look at these pictures and feel so happy to be with my soulmate!!
My favourite person from this photoset is my Great-Uncle Jimmy, in the first few pictures. He is so damn awesome in every way!!
Sharing breakfast with my husband, can you tell who sleeps during the day and who is on a normal schedule?
After posting that advice about how to draw a comic and just generally getting back into the groove of drawing, I got a little inspired! I doodled in Evan’s notebook, I look forward to him finding it!
I haven’t painted my nails since before the wedding, so I did a half and half manicure like leighannsays has been wearing, so I picked some lovely spring colours… And now my fingernails look like Easter eggs. Not sure I like that. All colours are China Glaze brand.
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